You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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