HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I see more hoeing in ur future
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