I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I forget how to act sober
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