better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
