You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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