i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
