Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize