he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
