do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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