Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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