No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
