My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Randomize
