She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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