Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
