I'm lost and stupid without you.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize