I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
