the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
