What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
