omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
