I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize