What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
