I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
