State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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