You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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