If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
