Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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