i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
