I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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