Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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