I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
