you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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