He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
