if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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