EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
