i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
