so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
