I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
