no, he came in my armpit
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize