Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
