It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
