Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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