yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
