Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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