I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
