it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
