i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
