i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize