i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
