dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
