They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize