Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
