he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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