Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
