I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
