I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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