chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize