Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
