The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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