Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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