remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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