Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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