White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
