Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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