am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize