i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
