hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
