Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry _WHITEPOWER_ hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(240): View more from Maryland

How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?

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(540): View more from Virginia

Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.

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(917): View more from New York City

i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter

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(732): View more from New Jersey

he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...

(919): View more from North Carolina

it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...

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