I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You ruined the universe
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
