do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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