dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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