Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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