This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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