Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
