hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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