theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
