She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
