I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wish you could order shots online.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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