What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
