I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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