It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
