if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Are we still banned from the library?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
